Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize