Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
