omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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