Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Two words: blizzard sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
