I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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