I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
