If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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