Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
