I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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