oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
only if we run a train.
done.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
