Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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