I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
