I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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