So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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