at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
