My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize