Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
