Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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