Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
