i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
