I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
