I could have mohawked her pubes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
did you just send me my own nude
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize