i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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