Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
