I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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