just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
