i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
