Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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