What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
