I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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