I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
