i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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