I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
