omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
