I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
3pm strippers are depressing
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
