that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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