So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I faked an abortion last night.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
false alarm. still invincible.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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