do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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