So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
