Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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