i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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