im about as happy as oj after his trial
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This is my gift to your gina
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
