she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize