Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
