she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize