I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
