I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize