And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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