I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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