I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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