The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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