So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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