even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
