Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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