i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
That reminds me...we need to get swords
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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