Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize