What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
