Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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