I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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