Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
