Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
