a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize