Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
