You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
