I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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