Don't make out with my wife yet
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
