Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
