my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I need moral support for this bender
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
