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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
