erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
