I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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