i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
